Originally Posted by
Thumper 
Be prepared. We would all like to think that the kids will sigh with relief and be on board with our plans but I discovered that was not always the case. One of my kids was full of anger and rage directed at me and he thought I was ruining everyone's life and making huge mean mistakes - and he shared those feelings with his actions and his words for quite some time.
The fighting between him and his brother was increased 20 fold and it was all their emotions coming out in the only way they knew how. There are stories where there is immediate calm and peace - but that isn't how it always works out. I was completely unprepared for that so just a share from a different angle.
It did work out btw and the kids saw the big picture in time. We do have a calm, loving, and peaceful household today.
+1 This is the same experience I have had... But I would prefer 100x over that my kids be struggling (I know that sounds insane) and sad and angry and expressing that all now than have them be adults who were forced to stifle emotions and keep up an act as kids and who fall apart at age 40 (like me) because that's the first time they were free to actually express any real feelings...
It sucks to have your kids screaming that they hate you and wish you were dead (been there, done that) but the fact that that comes after visits with Dad, or after therapy appts when they have had to deal with lots of hurt and confusing emotions, is, well, expected in a way...
Great post Thumper because I think it is easy for us to think that kids will be all happy and fine when we go and that it will be all roses... Definitely not.
One thing I always try to think is this: is there really anything that is worthwhile doing that is easy and smooth sailing? I cant think of a thing... Expecting to make changes and wanting there to be shifts in how things work but also wanting it to be easy and pain free is sort of magical thinking in its finest. And I for one am guilty of having had that mind set for a long time...