Originally Posted by
tornrealization 
NT I used to think that way too, it seemed easy for me to hit 30 or 40 days but then unravel. I'm glad you are proud of it and have been posting about it because it is motivation for me. I mean - I'm in like limbo but I'm so happy to see your success. All the soul searching I'm going on likes to see when one has had some success. 30 or 40 days is something to be proud of and the day I get there again, I won't beam myself up that it's not 65 like I have in the past.
I'm really glad
that was your take-away from this TR. It really is what we accomplish in present time (must keep telling myself this
). I've always tried to mentally catapult myself into the future of where I thought I should be, or where I wanted be, whether it be financially, maturity or even
when I thought I would gain people's respect in my daily activities.
Taking it a day a time is great advice, but for someone as impatient as me, it sometimes has a negative effect.
You don't now how many times I've thought about leaving SR and coming back a year later and saying "hey everyone, I made it year". It's that mentality that leads people in a direction where they wake up one day and have no one around. That could easily be me, but I'm changing. I'm good at expressing myself but apparently my agenda has been really warped. It's how survived and how I grew up.
While the "big picture" is an arduous learning process for me, I'm progressing and learning to say "it's ok", and "that's not important".
I've always used people's success as a bench-mark for my motivation in life. But this is different and I needed to separate that mind-set because it's actually self-destructing for me under these particular circumstances.
So, that is why I wanted to emphasize that for me or anyone with this similar mindset.
I'm getting better at thinking things through while avoiding the self-destruction.
Please join in TR...... :^)