That's great news dreamer! I hope he finds one soon. Maybe you are right that its been a positive thing for him to have to do this for himself. Being you aren't there to make things easier on him. Now he has to take charge for himself.
I remember a time that Blue's husband said some of those things your AH was saying that is frightening you. She might be better at explaining it. I said things like that too. Like lets just break-up..get divorced. A lot of it came from frustration and guilt. Not being able to be the wife I knew he deserved....thinking I will never get over my addiction. It was very frustrating to loose control of myself....to not be the person I wanted to be. I even signed my kids over to my husband one time when I was having a pity-party. Not in front of them...but when husband and I were alone. I felt really bad after that....and it actually ended up being the motivation I needed to get healthy again.