tiredmum.....you have a lot on your plate. Please remember, those voice in his head, they belong to one person, and that person is him. This is what he has become.
I am so sorry. Stay strong. You cannot protect him, he is a grown man who needs to realize the consequences of his actions. HE IS NOT YOUR CHILD, he is a MAN.
As far as being blamed, you will be. Guarantee that. Form a thick skin and remember, other people don't necessarily have your best interests first.
XXX