Hi everyone
I joined this site in June 2014, desperate to give up alcohol. I've struggled with many things in my life such as abuse, depression and anxiety, relationship problems, work related stress and financial hardship blah, blah, blah...
I tried over the years to fix some of the above problems but to no avail. I tried to give up drinking but I couldn't get past two weeks sober. My problems got bigger and my drinking got harder. My life was rapidly spiraling out of control. I just wanted to hide away and drink. I had become a seriously stressed, depressed alcoholic and I wanted to die. I hated the world. I felt hopeless and worthless and decided to end my life.
I went into a psychotic state of mind and luckily my friends (with the help of the police) managed to get me to a mental health unit where I stayed for four weeks.
I was detoxified with Librium and immediately treated as a mental health patient with alcohol dependency. Before my discharge from the unit three weeks ago I was prescribed Antabuse which I take under supervision 3 times weekly and I'm also taking campral to reduce cravings. These meds are helping me to prevent relapse short-term until I hopefully access a residential rehab service to address my range of needs. Today I am 50 days sober! Because I now have a plan I am so much more hopeful about my future. It's not going to be easy but it's possible. I am able to look at my plan and break it down into stages which helps immensely.
Whilst I'm waiting for admission to rehab I am attending aa meetings and I have sourced other recovery and mental health support from other organisations. At the moment I feel determined to get better. I no longer want to die. I want to beat this. I just wanted to share what I've learned so far - asking for help, getting support in place and having a plan are VITAL.
Good luck to everyone on this journey, never give up
Butterfly xxx