Thank you everyone. And thank you for reminding me of some of the things I have forgotten, or might have.
What I'm going to tell him, which is the truth, is that my reason for staying so long was 1) I feared for her safety with him alone, he had me convinced he would get full custody after all, and 2) I didn't realize that I had the power to leave until I started working on myself (alanon, church, books, forums, etc.), and 3) it got to the point that she was noticing his habits and was getting involved...like bringing him his bowl or lighter.