Thank you all. Anvil, you are right. As you all know, I have been looking to move. I ran into my neighbor today who is a realtor and he promised to help me tomorrow. The sooner the better. Heartcore- I thank you for your perspective. I never intend to put myself in a situation where I will act the way I did again, but I think you are right in that by behaving in this manner, I have severed that tie and he will not find it appealing to pull me back in with empty promises of love and commitment.
I can say this, after reflecting on the support here and getting a bite to eat, although I could "see" that the relationship was toxic and that his treatment of me was not how I define or want to be loved, I can look back on the incident and what led to it and perhaps now I have an "understanding" of what I only before could "see". Thank you.