Originally Posted by
MsGrace 
I divorced my a husband 3 years ago...worked the steps, have done a TON of personal growth work outside of Al Anon, in additon to it, and have no contact at all with him. So far so good?
I'm in a serious relationship with a delightful man and we have a wonderful relationship. I love and am loved by his mom, and when together, we are highly compatible. He's responsible, caring, funny and accomplished. He's also been in Al Anon for a year, and in couples counseling with me.
AND
He comes with an 8 year old, and he has a co-parenting agreement with an active alcoholic ex wife. She and the child live in another state. He went back to court to try to prevent her from moving him out of state, but was unsuccessful. Ex wife is with her family who are all alcoholic as well.
I'm old enough to have an 8 year old grandkid, for one, and a permanent arrangement with another alcoholic that loves to hand grenade every conversation and create as much chaos as she possibly can makes me sick. Yes, I'm having to decide if this relationship and all the wonderful things it is, is worth the huge baggage it comes with. We would have this child with us all summer, and spring break and once a month and most holidays.
I need some perspective from the loving souls here. I've gotten so so much help here...I'm here again. Yes I started with the question...what is it about me that attracted another addict into my life? Perhaps I just haven't learned all I need to...
mm first prayers and time and do you want to be with this man forever. really FOREVER...my hubby Ed has a son Justin.. he was 15 .. when Ed and I started seeing each other and then moved in together .. Justin hated me.. my Daughter Melanie was 20 in her second year of college .. walked the kid into a wall one night and let him have it.. Justiin did drugs and booze ... Ed got sick and was in the hospital ( we do that a lot in 22 years) Justin never batted an eye lash... I kicked him out to his Moms.. well that was back in the 1990's.. I must have done something right in the first couple of years with that terror of the deep .. for he is married has 3 little ones.. is a firefighter and EMT... yep.. and drinks Blue Berry Beer. ahhahah my favorite from back in the day... we saw them about a year ago Grandpa Ed and the 3 little ones Asher Aimee and Madison.. the Grandmother Susie (1st wife ) has made it hard for us to see them.. But Justin held me tight that Christmas and said in my ear Ardy what would we do without you.. Thank you Mrs. Richter.. yep I need a tissue.. point maybe when you have the 8 year old.. he needs to see a better life.. to know the difference between Mom and Dad and new family in another state.. its hard kiddo.. and sometimes all you can do for years is pray and cry and pray.. Stand tall hold the high ground and keep trying.....
