I am near tears reading this, Twofish. My heart aches for you. I am so, so sorry for your pain and for the cowardly way he disrespected you and the long marriage you have had. I am sending a big warm hug your way--a long one!
Yes to getting a good lawyer. You will get alimony, I hope. And that sounds so clinical at this point, but I have to agree with Fandy. Don't cave because you feel bad or for any reason. Think about all that later, though.
One thing I have learned in my short two years here and at meetings is that the tools I have acquired towards my own recovery, brought on by my daughter's addiction, have been useful in many other aspects of my life. Use them and they will serve you well. Again, my love and big hugs to you. Peace, honey. Take care of yourself.