Ooooooooh, this is a tough one. I think you've gotten some good advice to wait and give it some time. I can relate to a lot of what you posted, although I've been with my now-husband for 16 years (married for 12) and we have 2 kids. I was young when we met, and kind of a "free spirit" while he was (and is) very financially successful and responsible. I think that set up a dynamic for our relationship that has proven challenging over the years, because as I grew up, I wanted more power in the relationship, but he was unable to relinquish control.
My drinking compounded the dynamic that he was "right" and I was "wrong." Until recently, it was hard to have a leg to stand on during arguments because how could his controlling behavior possibly be worse than being an alcoholic?! Both he and I bought into that, and it is tough to unravel now that I'm trying to recover.
I think the fact that you have a lot of time to yourself is a good thing. You can think this through as your head clears. I know how tempting it can me to make a rash decision, but I also hear you saying that it's now or never. Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help to you. Take care!!!