I was in a relationship during the worst of my alcoholism. We met at a time when I was unhappy, lonely, and drinking more and more. She was a very pretty girl and didn't have a mean bone in her body. My friends and family absolutely loved her. I thought I loved her too, but I think I may have liked the attention and company of her more.
I never felt a connection and I couldn't really talk to about anything meaningful. I was unfaithful and lied to her a lot. She stuck with me for 6 years until I was just too far gone into addiction for even her to put up with.
When I sobered up, I realized I was never in love with her. I 'loved' her, but more like I would love a friend or relative. The alcohol had really clouded my true feelings. I honestly couldn't have loved any girl if I didn't even love myself.
Go with your heart. You know deep down whether you truly are in love with this man. No doubt you deeply care about him, but to go through with this marriage when you don't really love him is not fair to him or you. You could be keeping him from finding a woman who does return his feelings of true love.
After my ex and I parted ways, she soon met a new man, and they are now happily married. I feel guilty for wasting so much of her time, but the guilt is lessened now that I know she found happiness and a man who truly loves her.