Bamawife.....In your thread that was posted yesterday....I advocated for YOU.
You have been through a lot of abuse and trauma...esp. with the recent passing of your father and the care taking that went with it...followed by the crisis with your husband.
You, understandably described yourself as overwhelmed and at a loss of how to care for yourself....as well as the fear of what will happen when he comes home from rehab.
I suggested that you need care and support--return to alanon; counselor; begin to read co-dependent no more. AND...maybe consider that he go to sober living right after rehab---TO PROVIDE YOU MAXIMUM TIME TO CLEAR YOUR HEAD AND PREPARE FOR THAT FIRST YEAR OF SOBRIETY --WHICH IS ALMOST ALWAYS STRESSFUL AND ROCKY FOR ALL CONCERNED. Sober living is temporary and gives him the best chance to get his sea legs.
I did not suggest whether you "stay or leave". Based on my experience of the early recovery period....I am concerned with the best care for the both of you.
I am just trying to assist you in being realistic.
My comments are of genuine compassion and a desire to be supportive of you.
But, they are only my suggestions.
I absolutely urge you to take what is helpful (if anything) and leave the rest.
sincerely,
dandylion