I can relate to feeling like wine is everywhere. I live in Italy and wine here is considered almost like another food group. It really is sold and offered in almost every place I ever go. There is wine served at my children's events at school, even the nuns drink it there! But the problem isn't them, it is me and how I see/use wine.
I have never been to a dinner or dinner party here where wine wasn't consumed. At most restaurants they drink out a glass of prosecco as a gift to start and at the end of each meal, after the bill has been paid they drop by an entire bottle of grappa and limoncello for guests to sip on to their satisfaction. After a few small sips people leave the bottles barely touched.
I don't think you can avoid the alcohol but you can find ways to work around it. For example certain foods I have so thoroughly enjoyed with wine that eating them now is difficult for me. I can't go to my favorite cheese place yet because I am nto ready for the cheese without the wine.
When I entertain at home (which I am doing much less of now to protect myself) I cook foods that wine wasn't so integral to their enjoyment- such as thai dishes or something that might be served with beer.
Today I had to pass on the first course at a restaurant as it was wild boar sauce made with chianti wine on pasta. Wine IN food is not such a big trigger for me, but I am currently taking antabuse and cannot have it, so I skipped it. It was annoying, but I was able to have the second course.
Maybe try different restaurants. For example, Italian cooking does not use wine in so many dishes. I think American-Italian cooking is a bit different, but if you can find a very traditional place there won't be wine used in a lot of the second courses (some pasta sauces, yes). Many asian cuisines do not use alcohol, nor does tex-mex if I am correct.
I understand your frustration, but I am sure you can find something on the menu that would suit your needs. You can also ask for a suitable substitution.