I can definitely relate to exhausting hyper vigilance AND wine everywhere,.I live in nor cal too, and just started working at a large wine distributor. People gave me 4 bottles of wine last week!!! I didn't drink them of course but seeing them sitting their on my desk brings up a lot of romanticism around drinking. I see it as the most obvious test I could have, and plan to give them away as Christmas gifts. Other people might not agree but I buy this very quality n/a beer when I'm feeling incredible temptation, it satisfies me, and I then rejoice the next day when I'm sober and feeling good! Jenny may be right, the hypervigilancd might be related to a lack of total acceptance around never drinking again. It also sounds like the people around you may be big into the wine scene. Would adding some non-drinkers to your circle help you feel more relaxed?
Thanks for posting, it was helpful to read!