Thanks for the responses.
I don't know if it has anything to do with it, but today in Minnesota Fall really kicked into full speed.
Fall was always my favorite time (or so I say, but really there was never a bad time) to drink - the cool breeze, hoodies, jackets with my flask in the inner pocket, bonfires.
I had not had cravings like today/tonight since as I said about over a month ago. The drury overcast weather may have had something to do with it.
There is going to be family here tomorrow from all over the country and I'm nervous too - my social anxiety I always self-medicated with my vodka.
I am trying to think this all through, and thought posting here might be a good idea.