Cirques du Soliel! Oh I would so much rather do that than drink!! (heh it's hard to find something that good for me) so enjoy!
For me, I am hoping that today can be my first sober day (which actually I would call day 0 and tomorrow would be day one - AKA one day since being sober) but already my mind is yelling at me... my AV that is.
I feel like my life is so torn apart and sad right now that drinking is the only thing keeping it together... AKA keeping me able to cope with this life without just wanting to end it. So I'm scared of stopping because of how things might go... how it might all fall apart.... (probably why I should be in inpatient I guess, but I don't know if I can do that right now)
Sober me really really wants this to be my first day of sobriety.... addict me really really wants to drown myself in wine and ciders right now and just calm the f*** down and be "happy" again.
I made a list of things I can possibly do this month, to cope. All I can focus on now is making it 40 days... that's my goal. I need to atleast get 40 days sobriety in me (the longest I've ever gone is 38 days). Also possibly add in some AA as well as the other groups I will be in. I also made of list of things that might allow me to cope through this month. Hope it can work. Also going to try to be in in atleast one group or something per day, atleast for now...
Also it's the start of the weekend now... I hope everyone is doing alright!! How are you all doing so far?