bless all of you for sharing your heart and wisdom. Yes...we are both committed to counseling so we make sure we can have the support we need to make good decisions and if we do...establish a stable, loving supportive alternative home for this boy. The boundary issue is a big one. Defining exactly the role I would play for the boy...and letting my man take what is his to do. It is exactly why we chose the path we have. Counseling first and long term. THEN when we are clear, we introduce this boy into a home and a plan that has...to the best of our abilities, worked out the bugs before he gets here. Life itself brings bugs. I do have another fear that a very troubled teenager will land on our door in a few years...out of control and ours to deal with. I have to be prepared for all of it. You know this man has to be really good stuff to even consider this...at retirement age. haha!!