Hi Patricia... the way I see it:
It is what it is. And that's it. No judgements. Ok, so I'm alcoholic. I had a drinking problem. For whatever reasons... genetics, environmental factors, chance... doesn't really matter.
Now, what can you do about it?
That's what really matters. What you choose to do in response makes all the difference.
There are times I mope and feel sorry for certain situations in my life, thinking I'd have been at a much better place had X not happened... but, it did happen
I am what I am. And so I think it's important to find some things about yourself that you can hold onto that mean something to you... what qualities in yourself do you see that can carry you through this? Name a few! We ALL have some strengths and good qualities. Even addicts and alcoholics.
Not to say that there's not a time and place to deal with the shame and guilt. But there's lots to be said for holding onto your strengths as you come to accept your weaknesses.