On issue #1 (the party) I agree with your group and what others have posted. I can only share my own experience but the first few weeks would have been WAY too soon for me to be in that kind of environment. I am coming up on a year and I still reserve the right to opt out of social events where the focus is on drinking, depending on my mood.
What I have heard others say about events is, "Rather than focusing on what you will GET out of an event, think about what you can BRING to it." In this case, the converse may be true. i.e. you may be TAKING AWAY from the event if lots of people will have questions and want to talk about your sobriety. Your cousin is having the party to celebrate HIS anniversary and being there and having to answer a lot of questions about what happened with you may actually TAKE AWAY the focus on celebration and actually make others feel awkward. You certainly can't control what other people think/feel (nor should you try) but in this case I think it makes the most sense to stay away.
On issue #2 (the job situation) I would say to follow your instincts. If you're feeling well enough to tackle a new job and it would give you some stability (both emotionally and financially) then there is nothing wrong with looking for a new job. Plus, you never know; it may take you some time to find a job anyway, so might as well get to looking. Making your employment a "project" may actually help by giving yourself something to focus on other than the fact that you're not drinking.
Strong work on the 19 days by the way!
