Very valuable information here. I don't have much to add other than to say I used to play a similar game. Except I didn't make 6 months, I was between 30 and 90 days. I Had to change most everything in my life to get out of my self fulfilling prophecies. It can very much be a mind game. But not a losing one. Like someone said every day sober is a victory. Having AA support really helped me, because like you I can easily talk myself or think myself into a drink.