Forgive yourself...
Whilst my problem was alcohol, accepting that I suffer from the disease/illness of alcoholism and always will do and really know little or nothing about drug addiction.
I nevertheless, empathise with you on two fronts, as an addict (alcohol, despite what others might think is a drug and therefore addictive) and myself having 'lost' everything twice, although perhaps not in the conventional sense .... although it did involve a period of grieving and a slow healing process, the scars of which remain...
Without then wishing to sound trite or patronising, remembering what I went through, my advice, forgiveness, especially to others is a wonderful thing.
Even more wonderful, as it assists anyones recovery, including yours and mine, considering all you've gone or are going through, is to learn to forgive yourself....