I'm so sorry. 26 years is a really long time, and it's ok to grieve. My AH and I were together since highschool, and I spent my 20th anniversary alone this year, although at that time I was still hoping. It's really hard, it's like an unresolved grief, because they are still around, yet not...
Try to do something that makes you feel good today, if you can. I'm sorry, I'd post more but I have to leave for work. We're here though! Take care of you, and I'll be thinking of you.