Sweetheart, you are putting so much energy into someone who doesn't feel any of these things back. You could have told him every stinkin day that you cared about his health and it wouldn't have made a difference. None. I promise you that. He doesn't have the capacity for the type of love and empathy you do. You're creating guilt where none is warranted. All the words in the world wouldn't have made him stop. He will only stop when HE wants to. And that'll happen with or without anyone else around. That's a huge blow to the ego of a codependent, but it's true. If he ever sobers up for good, it won't be due to anything you or anyone else said or did. It'll be due to the pain of his addiction being greater than the joy he gets from the drink. Not because of you.