I apologize if I seemed insensitive to the question.
I don't attend NA although I've had a couple NA candidates as sponsees. I suggested that they supplement their meetings, and they sort of said the same things you've been told--the hustle, the authoritarianism, the lack of meetings. Of course, I would have said the same stuff about AA meetings had I not been desperate for sobriety.
I won't detail my sponsorship experience here, but I will say that terminal uniqueness is exacerbated when working with the ones that I worked with.
I heard long ago that if someone's ready to get sober, nothing I say will impede them, and if they're not, anything I say will. That's my experience in working with NAs. There seems to be an undercurrent of distrust on their part and rightfully so. Knowing what I know about character defects these days (spec/plank, spot 'em/got 'em, etc.), I am surprised at any amount of trust on their part.
So, yes, honesty is a biggie, but I make it a point of using the word "addiction" when working with them or talking in the meetings they attend. I'd hate to run someone off by trying to be an AA lawyer, know what I mean?
To be clear, I've only worked with 4 NAs. Pretty small sample size, but two are still sober. I don't know if the others are dead or alive.... Thanks for the topic.