Sure Kirsten, i'm glad you're here. This is a welcoming place. If it wasn't, I sure wouldn't stick around. I can relate to folks being completely abstinent as I have personally gone through the failed moderation attempts and the half-hearted "break" attempts that usually led to feelings of shame after I had regressed to heavy drinking.
We do all have to figure out what is best for us...not what is best for others.
Stick around awhile. :-)