Thanks Pulltight - I won't drink today...
Nice to meet you Lorraine. Maybe we can PM?
EndGame - you're right...I am not so much afraid that my partner is right...I know my partner is right...I am afraid of what he thinks...then again, I am afraid of throwing it all away.
I am seeing someone for my anxiety - not yet for my OCD - still working on that one. I know how much worse it gets when instead of dealing with the issues you drink over them. Of course the relief is there...but it's only temporary...and the next morning it's come back 10-fold.
I know that it doesn't have to be this way - and I will look through what Dee suggested...I will start over again. I can't throw it all away. It wasn't a good night - even though I didn't get sloshed or anything along those lines, my partner and I both caught a glimpse of what it was like in the past...and how it will only get worse.
I guess it's back to day 1.
Thanks everyone.