Realizations
First off I want to say Hello.
I never really thought I had an alcohol problem and still don't fully believe I do. Since I can go weeks in between drinks. But this weekend my wife and I had her family (grandfolks, uncle, brother, mother, etc) over for a big clam bake. Some of them pretty conservative (her grandfolks)
Before everyone came over there was a local oktoberfest at a brewery so I decided to go. After multiple beers I went back to my place and decided to not stop drinking even though a reasonable person would of stopped after 2 with family coming over. Anyways by the end of the night her family had tried to do a toast to my wives father who had passed away recently who I have great respect for. I was told (since I don't remember this) I interrupted mid toast to bable on about a football game that was going on instead of show my respects. I have never felt so horrible about something in my life and so embarrassed by my action. I went on to become increasingly load and obnoxious since I was the only drunk person there.
Well my wife is rightfully very upset about the whole situation and is very upset. That's when she said why do you always have to get drunk when you drink it's never just one or two drinks. And that's when I realized even though I don't drink very often I can't just have a few drinks. I'm trying to patch things up with my wife and her family as well as forgive myself. I'm really not sure where to go from here I feel so terrible and so unworthy at the moment. But I'm starting to come to the realization that I might have a drinking problem and don't want to hurt my wife or her family again. I'm really hoping that she can forgive me for my actions.
thanks for any input and/or advice