i totally understand your post. sometimes i feel like i must really be an idiiot. i must really look like someone that just is easy to disregard. now i know, i read the post how my h is sick and he can't help it but i honestly can't take it anymore. i can't take those words because they are always used as an out. well, i WOULD have come home right after class but i have a DISEASE you see. i think my ah takes it as a way not to be responsible for his actions. i am tired of excuses. i am also tired of me doing stuff to help him stay sober and then it is for nothing. i don't drink wine at dinner anymore, i don't do anything where people may be drinking. i guess i am selfish....i just wish things would get better...they can't get much worse. last night, my dad was in from out of town..his jeep broke down...we had to take a cab back to our apartment because ah was drunk somewhere...try explaining THAT to your police chief dad. what a great night.