Have stayed because I keep hoping one day we can live the happily ever after.
Allow me to be frank.
Your children are depending on you to make not only the best decisions for yourself, but for them, too. And the longer you continue to "hope" that your AH will smarten up, you give him more opportunities to behave the way you describe above. It's simply unacceptable, both for you and your kids, to be in that environment. And the one person that can change this is you.
When dealing with someone in active addiction, you need to make decisions based on what you know to be true, not what you hope will happen.
Ann has a sticky note on abuse on our homepage. If you have not done so, I encourage you to check it out.
We're here to give you strength and support. We care about you and your kids. But you and you alone are responsible for the safety and well being of yourself and your kids. Do what is necessary before he punches something other than a wall.
God bless, and be safe.