Relapse...how do I get back on the wagon?
I am back at square one.
After 7+ months of not drinking I am sitting here fighting with my partner about me falling into old pattersn. If the booze wasn't here it would be a different story but it's here...and I can't say no. At least I feel like I can't say no.
That addictive voice is so strong.
He thinks a month down the road I will be back to where I was...
Still drinking.
Maybe he's right?
I don't know. OMFG.
I don't EFFING KNOW and now he is saying that he won't put up with it and I don't blame him!!! How can I put him through this whole bull again?! But how come when he tried to pour all the gawddamn booze down the sink did I have a near nervous breakdown again and tightly held onto two last beers and am drinking them in secret.
Of course he doesn't want to talk to me for the rest of the night....
I don't want to go back down this road.
How do I get back on the wagon? How do I recover from this relapse? How can I figure this all out...without his support? I don't expect it...but...
I am so totally lost.