Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
:
Her family is doing what dysfunctional families do - they circle the wagons to protect the injured member..... they don't want to see the reality of her issues any more than she does, they are AS SICK as she is, so again, why does their opinion of you matter?
As Honey also pointed out, stepping out into other threads here at SR helps get some perspective. You may be shocked at how much you learn once you open up & start seeing the similarities in your story to so many others here.
A common thread among us here is that we try not to focus *too much* on our Qualifiers or their recovery - our Success Stories come from US, from OUR recoveries, from OUR growth. Your Ex was horrible to you, but are you going to let her define how you go forward in life?
So many great and helpful responses have been posted so far. Honeypig and FireSprite are speaking some hard truths here - I didn't see how truly sick AH's family is until an episode of violence happened under their roof during a visit and...they said nothing. Fast forward to my attending Al Anon, me telling MIL about it (oops! I would never do that now!), her acknowledging that there's a problem, and still they are his fave drinking buddies, always offering him a drink the minute we walk in.
I share this because even with everything I've learned in recovery, it's taken years for me to GET that it's a family disease. It's been repeated a thousand times over in meetings and here on SR, but my own denial and enabling kept me from seeing theirs. Maybe it's subconscious or even conscious insecurity, and it's part of their own self-protection to enable and blame lest the sins of the daughter reflect poorly on them.
Regardless, it doesn't matter - YOU know your truth and it doesn't have to be validated by anyone to be your truth. It's yours.
Also, reaching out to other threads is rewarding in so many ways. Not only do you see how truly not alone you are, but you'd be surprised when something you say helps someone. There is so much collective wisdom from experience here. It's a priceless gift that only exists because we all keep giving it back.
You are the best qualified person to save yourself from the prison of your own mind. Taking care of yourself in the ways you already have, along with contributing here and perhaps volunteering as others have suggested, or doing some other service work or hobby are great paths to start down toward your recovery.
Hang in there...