Oh my friend, I am so very sorry for your loss and your hurt. That such pain could strike someone so dear is so sad. I hope you can find comfort in your memories, your father sounds like someone who touched many lives, it is that legacy which will remain. My heart hurts for you, I hope you will let us all help you endure as you put one foot in front of the other in the near future. Like getting sober, this is uncharted territory, and I think that the comforting words of others who have gone through similar experiences can help you know that at some time the pain will dull. But for now, the pain you feel is a testament to the deep love you shared with an incredible man.