Originally Posted by
jarp 
Good on your butterfly.
I'm trying to use delay, distract and decide.....just like any other addict....when I want to contact AH.
..I've also told AH I love him, that I want him to get well, that I want the best for him. All that is true, but I also said it for the same reasons you do/ did....something for him to hang on to. I'll also think about this and try to reflect on whether its manipulation. My brains foggy on this....the thought that it is does resonate with me (thanks thumper) but I can't sort that out it my head either.
I also have said all the above. He lives with his sister. I finally texed him Friday night and said it was over (after some stupidness on his part), I dont know,but I want him to see the things that he does also has consequences, not that he will see that, but anyway.
Then I texted him and told him I will always love him. Ugh, I think I do this because I want him to feel like I am here and not go look for someone else. I dont know how I will handle that. Gosh this is a vicious circle we are all in. I was listening to (I cant help myself, here comes that feeling) by Eddie Rabbit last night and just burst into tears because that is just how I feel. I so wnat to get better and move on, but just cant seem to do it right now.
