Hello Everyone
Hi everyone, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and tell you what brought me here. I'm 34. Married to an awesome guy for 8 years. No children. We're both animal lovers. I don't drink all the time, but when I do, it's a lot. I don't know how to stop at one and it's usually to the point of me blacking out.
This past weekend I got drunk and messaged an old flame from my early twenties on Facebook. I basically poured my heart out to him. I told him that I missed him and that I think of him often. I told him that I avoid communicating with him because we were somewhat intimate together before I got married. He responded and said he was happy to hear from me, but I think he was a little weirded out by my behavior. I'm not very active on Facebook at all (except when I've been drinking).
About 15 minutes after this exchange, I realized what I had done and was completely panicked. I blocked him on Facebook and deactivated my account. I know this doesn't completely erase the messages on his end, but I tried anything I could to reverse what I had created. I woke up the next morning feeling totally embarrassed and humiliated. My behavior was completely out of character. I told my husband what happened and he tried to console me and tell me that it wasn't a big deal and that I was allowed to send one inappropriate message out in my lifetime. He said it could have been a lot worse (it could've been my boss).
The good news is this guy that I message lives in another state and I doubt that we'll ever see each other ever again. I just feel so ashamed at what I did and hate that I can't go back and change it. I'm probably beating myself up the worst over this, but my husband is so important me and doing anything of that nature makes me feel like I tarnished our relationship somehow.
Anyway, thank you for reading this and I'm happy to be here. I feel like I needed the extra support and so that's what encouraged me to join you. Facebook and drinking are the worst combo for me and I hope that I can be done with both permanently.