Good on your butterfly.
I'm trying to use delay, distract and decide.....just like any other addict....when I want to contact AH.
Thumper that was an interesting take on it. Butterfly I can relate to what you say...I've also told AH I love him, that I want him to get well, that I want the best for him. All that is true, but I also said it for the same reasons you do/ did....something for him to hang on to. I'll also think about this and try to reflect on whether its manipulation. My brains foggy on this....the thought that it is does resonate with me (thanks thumper) but I can't sort that out it my head either.
Going to talk to my therapist about that one today...