Thumper, I never really thought of what I say to him as manipulation. I always thought I was trying to give him something to fight for, to stop drinking for as he was feeling so lost and I thought if he holds onto how he feels about me that will give him a reason to fight. Looking back at all the times I said it to him it does sound like manipulation. I am really shocked and I am going to have to think long and hard about my manipulation in the relationship. I mean I know I shouted, threatened, screamed, cried and begged and it was only when I came here did I realise that that is also manipulation, trying to get him to do what I want.
I have read co dependent no more, think I will have a read once I've finished my current book.