Butterfly.....it is not your FAULT that he is where he is. He is a free man and he has chosen this. As Hawks and biminiblue have said....he needs the alcohol to kick his butt so hard that he can't take it any more....and that could still take YEARS! Yet...you want to run in and make it all better....he will never, ever, get sober if you are enabling him.
To answer your question...yes this is your co-dependent features kicking in. Spend your time working on them.
Yes, it is good if you have your feelings BUT do not act on them
Do not be his intermittent chicken rushing toward him with pellet in hand!!!!!!!!
Dandylion