Butterfly, I am in the same postition as you and I don't know how to stop. There are days, like you, that I can't stand him and don't want anything to do with him. Then all of a sudden those feelings creep right back in and I think he needs me.
He has no desire to stop drinking and does not see it as a problem. This man drinks from the time he gets off of work until he either passes out or just goes to bed, EVERYDAY!!!. He does not miss a single day, ever!!!. Weekends are worse because he starts earlier. Last night I was on the phone with him and asked what he had eaten for supper (he lives with his sister), and he said nothing because she was working and wouldn't be home until 10:00. So my codie feelings kick in and I am feeling sorry for him because I had made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. But I had to stop and think, he is a grown a** man, almost 50. He can make his own dinner if he wants to, but the beer is more important.
I like you, want to help, but he has to want to help himself.
I get so frustrated listening to other couples talk about future plans, like going to a wedding or just anything and I get sad because I can't make any plans ahead because I dont know what kind of mood he will be in or how he will act.
Ugh, I just wish someone could wave a magic wand over me and fix me!!!!! But, just like him, I know I am the only one who can fix me.
Hang in there, I hope it gets better. Hugs!!!
