OGK- quite shocking and shame making when we discover we are just like our parents isnt it? I spent most of my life down playing my moms behavior and just chalked it up to "shes kinda thoughtless" It wasnt until I realized that the reason why I thought all my problems were unresolved issues with my dad (mom told me it was this) was the lifetime of crappola my mom handed me about my father and she did this deliberately and it was false. I knew then that I had to try to peal myself away from my enmeshment with her and figure out what was really going on.
I still struggle with the it really wasnt that bad. Its your mom and you dealt with it for this long. Ticks me off. Ugh. I dont know.
Kialua- it is amazing that you had such resolve at such a young age