I had a wee wobble earlier about what I had said and my immediate thought was oh I have to tell him I didn't mean it but I didn't react I thought about it for a while and I realised it was fear talking and I don't need to be scared of my future without him actually today is the first day in a long time where I haven't been consumed with thoughts of will he won't he why won't he.
I'm sure he will be thinking yeah yeah how many times has she said that before it won't be long before she tells me she didn't mean it but I do and this time I do not want any contact with him. Did I want my marriage to end this way no, do I love him, yes do I want this for my life NO!!!!
Wendy I never thought of the things he says to me as manipulation before!