Dang, and here I wondered if I was all alone again on this board !
First of congrats on day 3 EJM(4 now maybe ?). It was hard for me to get to 3 days sometimes and if others got the guts to tell you, it's hard for them too. I just posted on another part of this board how I'm struggling so hard at not drinking.
What I'm seeing with myself and other ppl is that there will come a time, and since everyone is different, it appears a little different to each person, that you will, if you never NEVER give up, that you will begin to stop drinking.
For some it's a scary incident, for some it's something horrible, for some it's just a day that's gone by and that was their day 1.
What I'm sure of is that your brain and mind on alcohol does NOT function the way it's supposed to. I drank for yrs, and felt depressed for yrs. I mean bad. Blamed it on all kind of stuff, except my "hideaway medicine". I didn't call it that then. That's what it was though.
Point is, that being down on yourself and feeling hopeless and not worth crap (me), was mostly my brain on booze. Only after 60-90 days was I able to go " hey ! I don't feel like @&)$!! 24 hrs a day!"
I'm only at about 105 days or so and it's still in my face, but I'm here and have hope. The reason I'm telling you all this is that I'm not coming at you with the I'm sober 20 yrs thing. If stay sober 20 yrs, I don't want to REMEMBER. These times !! Haha
I've just out of where you are and I've had to crawl the whole damn way for me to do it.
Tools that may help : 1- forgive yourself, let yesterday go, it's over and gone-poof!
2- focus on what is real, not what you "were, or did, or whatever"--- right now is where you are. Right now is what you hold on to.- later will get here. That's in the bible ( I read it cause I need it)
3- finally, "worry is a down payment on what hasn't happened yet"
Worry isn't real because its not what's happening right now.
You. Don't. Have. To.worry.
You. Can. Choose. Not.To.
- I'm hoping this helps, even for 1 sober day. It will be a day nobody can ever take from you ...