Tell you what peeps, I've been thinking a lot about the essay and my response. Clearly I am being considerably triggered and I do beg all of your pardons.
I have a "pro-active revenge" streak in me that goes way back... I don't act but I can easily get sucked into developing an array of simmering resentments with lots of theoretical paybacks for things that haven't happened or have to me or to others. I just imagine myself into it. I'm kind of edging my way to thinking it one of the unhealthy attachments BillW speaks about, in this case a habitual attachment to judgement and consequent payback. Thoughts become lurid, focus and judgement goes awry etc... happens as easily as breathing some days.
So to put my record on this topic straight, and hopefully to bed, I'd like to leave my message to the hypothetical addict as "be my guest, fall or climb as you will by yourself- I will protect myself and the kids from you".
I find it difficult to not embellish that statement with all sorts of barbs intended to humiliate, blame etc. I am guided by the example of the SR friends & relatives who are living this situation. A wrathful response is my codie instinct but I don't have to keep living it.