Denphen,
It is not fair that you have been required to be strong. Usually when we say that we have been strong it really means that we survived. I can relate because I have survived. I survived many addictions of many different people. I have also been the dumping ground for others...many others. It is not fair. It is not right.
However, no one deserves to be any one else's dumping ground. Just like you are not in charge of handling every one's bad and ugly. ... others are not responsible for your bad and ugly. You don't need any one to dump on. Nor do you really want any one to dump on.
I think what we all need is to have a PERSON. Someone that cares for us without strings and someone that will be honest and loving. We all need people in our life that don't have other motives for us. People that don't want to use us. People that really want what is best for us.
I think there are people like that out there. But, we don't find them because we are so used to surviving that we don't know how to just live. We don't know a normal because our normal is so screwed up and twisted.
So I have been noticing that the more healthy I get the more healthy people I find. I no longer to look for those people to dump on or to have people dump on me. I am looking out for me. Mind you I am a codependent. I am still learning what that means for me.
But, don't go out looking for others to dump on. Go out looking for YOU. Go out to make you healthy again. Make you happy. Focus on YOU!