Hi and welcome.
It sounds like you’re trying like me and many others “we don’t know what we don’t know.”
You seem to realize that there is a problem, = it will not get better, only worse if we continue to drink alcohol. We also need to accept that we cannot drink in safety and if we drink all bets are off. We needed to recognize that moderation hardly ever works if we are alcoholic.
I and millions got our sobriety in AA along with many reading these posts, whatever it takes to not drink.
BE WELL