Thanks 3arai
I'm not sure & she hasn't been diagnosed for the exact reason you said. She did attend one counsellor, he dared to suggest she might have her part to play in our troubles, started to zero in on her a bit, she came away declaring him a "quack" and never went back.
This pattern has emerged on several occasions. She counsellor shops and prefers women counsellors who will fall in with her victim mentality.
She has narcisist traits, high conflict traits & borderline traits, although doesn't tick all the boxes for any.
I did get an intervention on me.
She was blowing 7 shades of s##t out of our son at breakfast time. (Very regular occurance)
I calmly took myself away & googled the medical opinion of what that type of regular behaviour does to a child. I printed it out & tried to "confront" her with it.
I figured it might be a "wake up" call of some type.
It wasn't, she flew into a full blown rage, and then I did too.
I ended up throwing a chair through a window, in pure frustration that no matter what evidence I presented .... she knew better & could minimise & justify her behaviour.
Cops were called, didn't even ask what happened. Just served me with notice to appear in court.
Judge handed down one year, again, no time for my side of the story. No concern for her behaviour what so ever.
I felt labelled as the sole cause of all the problems in the house & of course, my wife just lapped it up.
During the counselling I was to attend, again, I was the out of control brute who had terrified my wife & children. Never was I to tell my side of the story. Not interested, period !!
It seems in many cases there are brutes who just run rough shod over their wives, brutalise them, control & manipulate them, verbal them constantly.
The assumption seems to be a "one size fits all" when it comes to any domestic dispute.
The male cops it & that is that.
I won't even list all the stuff that has happened to me at her hands or more succinctly her tongue (main weapon).
Your story rings some bells, I have had 10 or 12 text messages in a day, all just attention seeking stuff. I drive a large part of my day as part of what I do. If I ever pick up the phone whilst driving & she is in the car .... thats a verbal.
Knowing I drive a large part of the day & shouldn't use the phone whilst driving, if I don't get back to her quick smart .... thats a verbal too.
I'm not "thinking of her" and it makes her "sad"
Good grief. Writing all this down, makes me look at it in a whole new light.