It feels very toxic SW.
4 children are involved & from what I have read, divorcing or leaving a BPD person, is a nasty nasty process.
She has already threatened previously when I said I was leaving (not sober) , to withdraw the children & get the law involved by making up a story to get an intervention / court order.
It has already been my experience that these orders can be obtained easily & no one is ever interested in the males side of the story.
My poor 10 old son cops most of her wrath, I really fear for his well being if she follows through with her threats.
She hasn't made that threat lately, but I haven't made any plans to leave lately either.