I'm doing pretty good Hereandnow thanks for asking. Today marks 114 days which is 10-12 more than the last time I went back to drinking. I thank God many times every day for the strength to make it as far as I have. And while I still have some of those moments when I think I would really like to sit at the picnic table out back with a drink they are coming less frequently.
I work today then I scheduled vacation days Tuesday and Wednesday to do some work around the house going into fall. In the past my best of intentions would have turned into drinking and sitting on the computer all day by 930am. Then around 3 or 4 try and rush through some stuff to make it look like I was productive before my wife got home. I really look forward to being completely productive this time.
It's truly amazing how different my outlook on life is becoming but it also scares me quite a bit. Before I was fine taking things as status quo because I would just drink and ignore it. More and more I find myself bothered deep down by things and I have to actually deal with them. I'm feeling like I stunted myself to some extent over the past 8 years from 21-29. I never learned to have an actual meaningful or difficult conversation. I simply avoided them and now I'm having to work my way through that process. I feel like I rambled and I'm not sure it all made sense trying to write down my thoughts. It does make me feel better when I take the time to write here though.
Praying for all of you that you have a great week coming up.