Casinva - Why is your MIL such a big trigger? What will be different this time? My stepmother could be a trigger because (1) she drinks like I used to and (2) has a long history of hurting my feelings while my Dad passively observes. I wasn't excited about spending a week with her over the summer, without alcohol to make me forget about it. Turns out I was smart to be on guard. I was extremely tempted to drink, and pretty much white knuckled it. I didn't drink, but was not stronger or wiser for facing my trigger. It was just stress for stress' sake. I came to understand as a result of that experience the reason why it's not recommended that folks early in recovery place themselves face to face with their triggers.
Lulu - Interesting perspective on your sober time. I started to feel trapped by my relationships and society's expectations of me about 6 months before I stopped drinking. That primed my search for emotional sobriety, but I don't count my sober time til I strung together days where I abstained from drinking. It'll be seven months of stringing days together on Tuesday. (Gazza will too).
Seven months is over half a year! I picked up a 6 month chip at a meeting the other night. This meeting has been around for 25 plus years. Someone made a comment on how nice it was to have "newcomers with only six months" at the meeting. I liked that perspective. There's something inherently hopeful about being "new", while my whole sober life lies ahead of me. There's still another half year of sober "firsts" that await me.
I have a lot of hope for the future, but it's not tied up in a to do list anymore. I am trying to trust my intuition, guided by a higher power, to do the right thing, without planning the outcome. My will has resulted in a prison of my own making but it nonetheless is struggle for me to let go of my will and pray "thy will not mine be done".