Good Morning! Let's see, my sober wake up...
I stayed up late last night watching a movie with my husband after Ladies Night, and so I slept in until 7:30! Out of all the mornings to record how great it is to wake up feeling sober and well equipped to get through the day, this one had a few more surprises than usual. One of the dogs I am babysitting while my parents are out of town filled the kitchen with dog poo, and peed on the herbs that I harvested yesterday. I literally stepped in poo to let all 4 dogs out and tripped over a dead bird that was placed lovingly on the back door by a mystery cat (Hmmmm. ..or maybe another animal?) It took maybe 10 minutes to clean everything up and by then the coffee was ready. No sweat. Really, no sweating, heart beating rapidly as I wake and hope I'll make it through whatever responsibilities I have to shoulder, like making toast for the kids or grinding coffee. I don't have to hope that no one can smell my nasty sweat, and picking out clothes to wear is no longer an achievement. It's hardly a concern.
Yesterday, I went to an intensive zumba class that's no marathon, but it's an hour straight of vigorous aerobic exercise and it felt so great I giggled through it. Pure joy! I drove through construction, took my son on a trading card hunt, went out for pizza with my family, did laundry, dishes, all effortlessly. No worries about when I could have my first drink, slow drivers didn't bother me, and I wasn't nauseous even once yesterday. I didn't makeup some stupid, flimsy excuse to get out of Ladies night, and I didn't let down my friend that saved a seat for me.
I'm tired this morning, and I feel no guilt about it whatsoever! No guilt, how can that even be? I'll take it a bit easy today, and take the kids to a movie later, salvage some non-urine soaked herbs, and maybe read a book, take a bath. I have time to do that because my household is running smoothly and my free time hasn't been taken with sitting on the couch, drinking, and pondering the point of my existence. 45 days ago, I was depleted, empty, desperate for love. I felt rejected by the whole of humanity and felt like I was just going through the motions of daily life. Hollow. I hated waking up to yet another morning.
This morning I am calm and relaxed. I'm confident that no matter what happens today, I will be able to deal with it. I've recovered my self respect. I'm not hollow anymore.
Happy sober morning, TeamAugust! Love to you all!