Hi everyone,
Tonight I'll be sleeping in my home for the first time since the hospital 4 months ago. After I was released, I was too sick to go home or start IOP, so I have been staying with my parents. As I started to get better, I came around to my condo with my mom to do light cleaning, take care of my rabbits (not to worry, they are house trained and looked after by someone in my family everyday I was sick), and just be here. As I got healthier and further into my Sobriety, I have been spending alot of time here, but still go home to sleep at my parents..they are only 5 minutes from me, same town. I can stay there as long as I'm comfortable to do so.
Now, mid-September, I've fixed my home to my liking, changed things around, gotten rid of "drunk-Jill-crap" and leftover crap from my last relationship. My home truly feels like a home I am proud to come home to, and not a huge trigger. There are still things to work on, but tonight I would like to sleep here and wake up here. I will still sleep at my parents house, one night here in my place, one night there, until I'm completely ready to be back here.
I'm not worried about me, if I feel anxious, I can always go to my other home. I'm worried about my mom, I know she is anxious and sad. I feel very guilty. I don't know what to say to make her feel better. This isn't a goodbye, but my ordeal is still so real to her, where I just keep trying to move foward. I'm not sure of too much right now, but I am sure of my Sobriety, and I know my mom feels that way, too. I just know all this has been so hard on her, and me.
That's all, thanks for listening and stay Sober and safe
Bunnez